My New Favourite Game

My new favourite game is not getting run over. And here in Mumbai, it's not an easy game to play.

The roads are packed. There are no line markings to speak of. There are traffic lights, but no one acknowledges them. There are zebra crossings, but I've not once seen a car stop, slow down, or even glance left or right before driving through one.

Anyway, amongst all the chaos, there does seem to be a small amount of order. I've spent a lot of time walking the streets since I arrived, and I think I'm starting to get a good feel for the road rules. So based on my observations, I've complied them into a handy list in case you ever decide to brave the insanity that is the Mumbai road network:

If you are...

• Turning Left - Honk Your Horn
• Turning Right - Honk Your Horn
• Speeding Up - Honk Your Horn
• Slowing Down - Honk Your Horn
• Changing Gear - Honk Your Horn
• Changing Lane - Honk Your Horn
• Changing Radio Station - Honk Your Horn
• Driving Forward - Honk Your Horn
• Driving Backward - Honk Your Horn
• Acknowledging a Friend - Honk Your Horn
• Expressing Anger - Honk Your Horn
• Expressing Love - Honk Your Horn
• Expressing Confusion - Honk Your Horn
• Expressing Gratitude - Honk Your Horn
• Blinking - Honk Your Horn
• Scratching - Honk Your Horn
• Sniffing (or not sniffing) - Honk Your Horn
• Breathing In - Honk Your Horn
• Breathing Out - Honk Your Horn
• Not Breathing - Honk Your Horn

People here drive with one hand constantly on the horn. All over the city there are signs discouraging people from honking. Even today (Sunday), the traffic is quiet, but the honking doesn't stop. I've seen cars honking when they're the only car on the street.

It's the soundtrack to Mumbai.