Continuing the 'by night' theme, misty Shimla as seen from my hotel balcony.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Pics of Things and Stuff
Continuing the 'by night' theme, misty Shimla as seen from my hotel balcony.
Vipassana Diary - Day 2
Day 2 - Aug 25, 2009
Dear Dairy,
Well, that was painful. Very painful. But it was slightly less painful than yesterday, so at least things are heading in the right direction.
This is going to be a long 10 days. A very very long 10 days.
During what little free time we had yesterday, I realised just how few moments of my normal day-to-day life are spent doing nothing. It's rare that I'm not occupied with something. When you have an hour to kill, and your only weapon is the spacey, abstract thoughts of your subconscious, then it become a lengthy hour indeed.
There is a coat rack above my bed. There are 4 hooks on this coat rack. I've calculated that if I hang the small drawstring cover from my sleep-sheet on the hooks, then I can use it to count like this:
I forgot to take a photo, but it looked like this:
Noble Silence has already started to send me slightly batty. No man should ever be left alone with his own mind for this long. I'm genuinely scared about what might begin to poison my contemplations after an entire week without external stimulation.
To relieve some of the boredom, I did some exercise during our break after lunch. Nothing fancy, mostly stretching and strengthening exercises for my legs - something I've been doing most days to help compensate for my lack of running. It did help the time pass.
All today's lectures were identical to yesterday's: just breathe and watch it. Breathing I can handle, watching it is still hard, even after 20 hours of practice.
Yes, 20 hours already. We meditate for 10 hours of every single day! That's more time than most of you spend at work. More time than all of you spend at school. There are probably wheelchair-bound PlayStation addicts that spend less time on their arses than I do.
I'm going to bed now. I'm trying to stay positive, but 3rd August seems like a long way away right now. *sigh*
Dear Dairy,
Well, that was painful. Very painful. But it was slightly less painful than yesterday, so at least things are heading in the right direction.
This is going to be a long 10 days. A very very long 10 days.
During what little free time we had yesterday, I realised just how few moments of my normal day-to-day life are spent doing nothing. It's rare that I'm not occupied with something. When you have an hour to kill, and your only weapon is the spacey, abstract thoughts of your subconscious, then it become a lengthy hour indeed.
There is a coat rack above my bed. There are 4 hooks on this coat rack. I've calculated that if I hang the small drawstring cover from my sleep-sheet on the hooks, then I can use it to count like this:
- 1 -> 2 -> 3 -> 4
- and then back to the left:
- 7 <- 6 <- 5
- and finally over to the right again:
- 8 -> 9 -> 10
I forgot to take a photo, but it looked like this:
Noble Silence has already started to send me slightly batty. No man should ever be left alone with his own mind for this long. I'm genuinely scared about what might begin to poison my contemplations after an entire week without external stimulation.
To relieve some of the boredom, I did some exercise during our break after lunch. Nothing fancy, mostly stretching and strengthening exercises for my legs - something I've been doing most days to help compensate for my lack of running. It did help the time pass.
All today's lectures were identical to yesterday's: just breathe and watch it. Breathing I can handle, watching it is still hard, even after 20 hours of practice.
Yes, 20 hours already. We meditate for 10 hours of every single day! That's more time than most of you spend at work. More time than all of you spend at school. There are probably wheelchair-bound PlayStation addicts that spend less time on their arses than I do.
I'm going to bed now. I'm trying to stay positive, but 3rd August seems like a long way away right now. *sigh*
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Vipassana Diary - Day 1
Day 1 - 24 Aug, 2009.
Deary Diary,
I'm in so much pain. And meditating is not relaxing, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
At precisely 3:50am, the morning gong rang. There's not much point in harping on about just how early 4am is, you know how early it is. So early that I've never once called it early before - when discussing the hour of 4am, it should only ever be referred to as late.
I lay bed for a few mins before I staggered to the bathroom and poured some cold water over my head to wake up. The showers here are traditional Indian showers (buckets). One big bucket to hold the water, one little bucket to do the pouring.
My room is actually quite nice. It's simple but clean. It also has two beds, and since I have no roomie, I have some privacy and plenty of space to spread out.
After my cold water wake-up call, I dragged myself up the hill (it's not a very challenging hill, more like a gentle slope, but everything feels steeper before dawn) to the meditation hall to commence our 2-hour pre-breakfast meditation. Again I just sat there and daydreamed, squirming a lot to try and find a comfortable position.
At 5:30 Teacher joined us. He started playing the first of our course lectures. It began with about 5 mins of chanting, and then a series of meditation instructions in Hindi and English. And I'm not summarising when I write this, but all I have to do is watch my breath. That's it. Just sit there, eyes closed, and focus my entire attention on the breath flowing in and out of my nostrils.
I know that seems simple enough, but I could barely go 30 seconds before images of cricket, beer and naked ladies would begin to commandeer my thoughts. I didn't have a good session this morning.
6:30 was breakfast, followed by a few mins of free time to organise yourself.
We started meditating again at 8:30. Another poor session. Concentration has never been my strong suit. I keep getting angry at myself for not being able to do something so seemingly simple.
At 9:30 Teacher joined us again and we started the 2nd of our lectures. Same instructions: just breathe. 2 more hours of watching my breath. Well, 2 hours of sitting, and about 3 minutes of actual breath watching.
By lunch (11 am), my back was really starting to hurt. I never get back pain in the outside world, but in the outside world I never sit unsupported. The searing pain only made my concentration worse and the 4 straight hours of post-lunch mediation useless.
We had our dinner at 5pm, followed by another hour of meditation. I must have adjusted my position at least 20 times and never once found one that provided any relief.
At 7pm we sat down to watch our daily DVD discourse, taught be the lovably charismatic Goenka, the father of the modern day Vipassana movement. He talks, he talks a lot, but he's great to listen to, and when he made a joke about how much people hurt after the 1st day, everyone let out a relieved laugh. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one in agony.
Another quick half hour of spine torture at 8:30 and then off to bed.
This is going to be a horribly long 10 days.
Deary Diary,
I'm in so much pain. And meditating is not relaxing, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
At precisely 3:50am, the morning gong rang. There's not much point in harping on about just how early 4am is, you know how early it is. So early that I've never once called it early before - when discussing the hour of 4am, it should only ever be referred to as late.
I lay bed for a few mins before I staggered to the bathroom and poured some cold water over my head to wake up. The showers here are traditional Indian showers (buckets). One big bucket to hold the water, one little bucket to do the pouring.
My room is actually quite nice. It's simple but clean. It also has two beds, and since I have no roomie, I have some privacy and plenty of space to spread out.
After my cold water wake-up call, I dragged myself up the hill (it's not a very challenging hill, more like a gentle slope, but everything feels steeper before dawn) to the meditation hall to commence our 2-hour pre-breakfast meditation. Again I just sat there and daydreamed, squirming a lot to try and find a comfortable position.
At 5:30 Teacher joined us. He started playing the first of our course lectures. It began with about 5 mins of chanting, and then a series of meditation instructions in Hindi and English. And I'm not summarising when I write this, but all I have to do is watch my breath. That's it. Just sit there, eyes closed, and focus my entire attention on the breath flowing in and out of my nostrils.
I know that seems simple enough, but I could barely go 30 seconds before images of cricket, beer and naked ladies would begin to commandeer my thoughts. I didn't have a good session this morning.
6:30 was breakfast, followed by a few mins of free time to organise yourself.
We started meditating again at 8:30. Another poor session. Concentration has never been my strong suit. I keep getting angry at myself for not being able to do something so seemingly simple.
At 9:30 Teacher joined us again and we started the 2nd of our lectures. Same instructions: just breathe. 2 more hours of watching my breath. Well, 2 hours of sitting, and about 3 minutes of actual breath watching.
By lunch (11 am), my back was really starting to hurt. I never get back pain in the outside world, but in the outside world I never sit unsupported. The searing pain only made my concentration worse and the 4 straight hours of post-lunch mediation useless.
We had our dinner at 5pm, followed by another hour of meditation. I must have adjusted my position at least 20 times and never once found one that provided any relief.
At 7pm we sat down to watch our daily DVD discourse, taught be the lovably charismatic Goenka, the father of the modern day Vipassana movement. He talks, he talks a lot, but he's great to listen to, and when he made a joke about how much people hurt after the 1st day, everyone let out a relieved laugh. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one in agony.
Another quick half hour of spine torture at 8:30 and then off to bed.
This is going to be a horribly long 10 days.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Pics of Things and Stuff - Day 1
Just so I don't scare you all away from the blog forever, I've decided to add a few random pictures as sort of an antidote to my wordy Vipassana posts.
Here's your first pic:
Spinning the prayer wheels at the Dalai Lama's House, McLeod Ganj.
Here's your first pic:
Spinning the prayer wheels at the Dalai Lama's House, McLeod Ganj.
Vipassana Diary - Day 0
So I made it out alive (as you already know), but obviously a lot of other stuff happened over the past 10 days, so I thought I'd start filling you in on a few of my Vipassana experiences.
Since reading and writing were banned, I wasn't able top keep an actual diary, but using my mega memory (which is actually far far from mega), I will attempt to give you a reasonably accurate, blow-by-blow account of my time in solitary.
I'm going to split up this recollection into individual days. Partly because I'm too lazy to type the whole thing out now, but mostly because I'm certain that none of you, no matter how much you may care for me, could sit through 10 pages of drivel on what is essentially the 10 least eventful days of my trip.
So here we go...
Day 0.
Dear Diary,
I made it! After a very early start and an epic 2 bus, 12 hour trip, I arrived in Dehradun with just 2 minutes to spare. All of us soon-to-be mediators met at the city office, and in lots of 10 we were ferried by 4WD to the meditation centre about a half-hour out of town. The site is gorgeous! (satellite pic). It sits on the side of a shallow but fast-flowing river, far away from, well, everything. No car horns here, just the sweet sounds of whistling birds and the occasional monkey's screech.
There are about 50 mediators all up. About 3 quarters are male and roughly the same percentage are Indian.
Everyone was quite chatty on the way over, but after we arrived we all became strangely quiet. The course didn't officially start until 8pm, but hardly anyone uttered a word during dinner.
8pm. Course starts. Noble Silence begins.
Noble Silence means: "silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc. is prohibited".
There are also had 5 other precepts which I will have to obey for the duration of the course:
So, the first day was over pretty quickly. Following a short welcome/introduction speech from one of the assistant teachers, we walked up to the meditation hall where we were assigned our cushions. Mine is #24. I'm in the 2nd-back row, where all the meditation bad boys hang.
Our real teacher, the head honcho, greeted us very briefly and then simply said "now we meditate". So we did. By meditate I mean I sat there for an hour with my eyes shut and did nothing. My first ever hour of meditation(?).
Day 0 fin.
Feeling a little nervous now. All of a sudden 10 days seems like a very long time.
Since reading and writing were banned, I wasn't able top keep an actual diary, but using my mega memory (which is actually far far from mega), I will attempt to give you a reasonably accurate, blow-by-blow account of my time in solitary.
I'm going to split up this recollection into individual days. Partly because I'm too lazy to type the whole thing out now, but mostly because I'm certain that none of you, no matter how much you may care for me, could sit through 10 pages of drivel on what is essentially the 10 least eventful days of my trip.
So here we go...
Day 0.
Dear Diary,
I made it! After a very early start and an epic 2 bus, 12 hour trip, I arrived in Dehradun with just 2 minutes to spare. All of us soon-to-be mediators met at the city office, and in lots of 10 we were ferried by 4WD to the meditation centre about a half-hour out of town. The site is gorgeous! (satellite pic). It sits on the side of a shallow but fast-flowing river, far away from, well, everything. No car horns here, just the sweet sounds of whistling birds and the occasional monkey's screech.
There are about 50 mediators all up. About 3 quarters are male and roughly the same percentage are Indian.
Everyone was quite chatty on the way over, but after we arrived we all became strangely quiet. The course didn't officially start until 8pm, but hardly anyone uttered a word during dinner.
8pm. Course starts. Noble Silence begins.
Noble Silence means: "silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc. is prohibited".
There are also had 5 other precepts which I will have to obey for the duration of the course:
- abstain from killing any being
- abstain from stealing
- abstain from all sexual activity (no touching yourself to get in touch with yourself - my other favourite Vipassana paradox)
- abstain from telling lies
- abstain from all intoxicants
So, the first day was over pretty quickly. Following a short welcome/introduction speech from one of the assistant teachers, we walked up to the meditation hall where we were assigned our cushions. Mine is #24. I'm in the 2nd-back row, where all the meditation bad boys hang.
Our real teacher, the head honcho, greeted us very briefly and then simply said "now we meditate". So we did. By meditate I mean I sat there for an hour with my eyes shut and did nothing. My first ever hour of meditation(?).
Day 0 fin.
Feeling a little nervous now. All of a sudden 10 days seems like a very long time.
Vital Stats - 04 Aug, 2009
Vital Stats - 20 July, 2009
Hello My Much Loved Family and Friends!
Just a very short note to let you know that I'm still here on the planet (physically and spiritually).
Will update you on many things very soon...
Time: 11:55 am
Location: Delhi (map)
Health: Perfect
Weather: Sunny, hot and humid
Mood: Peaceful
Bowels: A+
Beard: Very Bushy
Next Destination: Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh
Hello My Much Loved Family and Friends!
Just a very short note to let you know that I'm still here on the planet (physically and spiritually).
Will update you on many things very soon...
Time: 11:55 am
Location: Delhi (map)
Health: Perfect
Weather: Sunny, hot and humid
Mood: Peaceful
Bowels: A+
Beard: Very Bushy
Next Destination: Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh
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