Dear Dairy,
Well, that was painful. Very painful. But it was slightly less painful than yesterday, so at least things are heading in the right direction.
This is going to be a long 10 days. A very very long 10 days.
During what little free time we had yesterday, I realised just how few moments of my normal day-to-day life are spent doing nothing. It's rare that I'm not occupied with something. When you have an hour to kill, and your only weapon is the spacey, abstract thoughts of your subconscious, then it become a lengthy hour indeed.
There is a coat rack above my bed. There are 4 hooks on this coat rack. I've calculated that if I hang the small drawstring cover from my sleep-sheet on the hooks, then I can use it to count like this:
- 1 -> 2 -> 3 -> 4
- and then back to the left:
- 7 <- 6 <- 5
- and finally over to the right again:
- 8 -> 9 -> 10
I forgot to take a photo, but it looked like this:
Noble Silence has already started to send me slightly batty. No man should ever be left alone with his own mind for this long. I'm genuinely scared about what might begin to poison my contemplations after an entire week without external stimulation.
To relieve some of the boredom, I did some exercise during our break after lunch. Nothing fancy, mostly stretching and strengthening exercises for my legs - something I've been doing most days to help compensate for my lack of running. It did help the time pass.
All today's lectures were identical to yesterday's: just breathe and watch it. Breathing I can handle, watching it is still hard, even after 20 hours of practice.
Yes, 20 hours already. We meditate for 10 hours of every single day! That's more time than most of you spend at work. More time than all of you spend at school. There are probably wheelchair-bound PlayStation addicts that spend less time on their arses than I do.
I'm going to bed now. I'm trying to stay positive, but 3rd August seems like a long way away right now. *sigh*
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